I Love You Tonight
by MandyQ
Summary: 1984: The Dark Lord fell years ago and the Malfoys have been falling apart ever since. Narcissa waits for Lucius to return home one evening and contemplates the sad state of her marriage. OneShot. No Spoilers. TDH Compliant. L/N. Pls R&R.


DISCLAIMER: No Malfoys were harmed in the making of this piece of fanfiction. Also no money changed hands, no permission was granted, no infringement was intended.

A/N: So apparently plot bunnies travel in packs. This came to me and I cranked it out in about half an hour. I thought I'd just toss it on FFDN and see what people think. I didn't even spell check it :p My other story is by no means finished and I have the beginnings of another one already as well, but here is something to read....

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He will be home in an hour. Maybe less. I never know these days.

Perhaps I should get up.

I should dress at least.

Yesterday I greeted him in only my dressing gown, letting it gap to show more of me than I normally would. If he noticed I was unaware of it.

And so then I dressed. My skirt was shorter than he would normally allow. If I could not inspire lust perhaps I could inspire wrath; some passion in him. He had none to offer me. Not even an insult.

Going from night gown to house dress is not such an effort. He needn't know I've spent the day in my night clothes.

There was a time I would dress in his things; an undershirt, a pair of pyjamas. He was, at best, tolerant. He has asked me not to touch his things any more.

I've put on something comfortable. I want him to notice me, but not an effort. I am not so desperate just yet. Could I greet him stark naked and get a reaction? It hasn't come to that yet. I choose not to pursue him openly; to speak plainly as to what I desire. His rejection of an outright advance would be more than I think I could take. I have stopped entirely trying to entice him.

When did I last wash my hair? He doesn't mention my grooming or any lack thereof.

I spray myself with a cologne that makes me smell like his favorite dessert; like chocolates and cream. Will this tempt him when he embraces me?

Will he bother to embrace me today? His formerly expectable greeting has become irregular these last months. Some days he neglects even to seek me out. I choose to be easily located, and yet I am not always greeted upon his return to the manor.

Tonight our son is with my mother and my aunt in London. Will Lucius be displeased? Draco is the only thing we still discuss. Our son's absence will cause him to speak to me. At least he will be speaking to me. I do so miss the sound of his voice.

He will find some task to occupy his evening. There is always something. Oh the hours he spends at that desk…. He will inevitably have a letter to write or a book to read or some proposed legislation that it has become his duty to go over. He will not be inclined to tell me what has his attention and I will not dare to ask.

I will retire for the night when I cannot abide the silence any longer.

He will come to bed when his work has tired him.

He will sidle up next to me in our bed. Some nights he will embrace me. Will tonight be one of those nights? On the best nights he holds me for hours, he kisses my neck, he strokes my hair. I lean into him and delight in the feeling of his body against me and the sound of his heartbeat as he cradles me to his chest. As much as I adore such treatment I cannot look forward to it; those nights are too few and far between.

Those nights are like a time turner. On those nights we are as close as we were before the Dark Lord fell. We are our whole selves in that darkness of memories; two people who somehow recall we were happy once. When he is so close to me I know that there is hope to find ourselves back where we always intended to be… back where we were just a few short years ago. When he is that close to me he is the husband I have always known.

Might he wish to be so close to me tonight? Or tonight will he only kiss the back of my head and whisper some wish for a good night? Some nights he even whispers 'I love you'. I wonder if he will say 'I love you' tonight.

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Let me know what you thought.

-MQ


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